A world of kindness...

Kindness is something that we compartmentalize and dole out within specific contexts. And our relationship to kindness is also quite variable.  How we show kindness appears entirely dependent on our view of the people involved, but I think this is a myth.

Reality is that kindness is about our relationship with ourselves.  Kindness requires a clarity and strength of character that I was unprepared to experience.  How strong must we be to bear the weight of the world?  What about staying above the water line and not getting dragged down?  Or just allowing others to heal?  And how do we be kind in the presence of pain or abuse? 

I re-learned a bit of my lost knowledge of love on this trip.    I did not learn how to be kind, but rather served kindness to the best of my ability.  It was f'ing hard, brutal and led to the most rewarding moments I have ever experienced.

Many of these moments are too personal to share for all involved.  But one moment stands out.  I was in Djemaa el F'Na (Big Square) in Marrekech.  Two sisters, one likely 12 and the other around 7, were making sad faces at me and offering me small plastic wrapped kleenex bundles for money. 

Both were quite beautiful, if a bit disheveled.  The oldest had a long scar under her chin up to almost her ear.  I kept saying "La Shokara" (No thank you).  They would not desist.  My tactic of juggling for the boys in the Medina would not work here as it would just draw a crowd.  So I continued saying "No" over and over.  "La la la la".  Finally, the older one turned away and wandered off.  The younger, however, tugged at my hand to get my attention and then kicked me in the shins before turning and fleeing.

I remember the shock, anger, frustration and then laughter at her spunk.  Did they have much?  Were they well off from all the tourists?  Doubtful.  After a few moments, I wandered into the large crowd to find them again, fingering the two dhiram in my pocket.  A coin for each, or so I thought.

Many hours later, with no sign of the two girls, I gave up one coin to some dancers and the other to an older blind woman.  Heading out of the square for our house in the Medina, I suddenly spotted the older of the two girls.  She came up and began asking for money.  This time I was not alone and was able to watch her as she interacted with my companions.  And I had to struggle not to laugh out loud as I realized she was mimicking everyone's actions and expressions as she was shunned away. 

I remember frowning as I had no money and looked up from my empty pocket to meet her gaze and find her frowning right back at me, but with my frown.  What an amazing young girl.  I laughed and pulled out the brown paper bag of apricots from the fruit stalls, carefully opening it like the sweet treasure it was.  And that's when she did what changed my world.  She reached down to clean her grimy hand on the side of her dress.  Time actually slowed down for me in that brief gesture of humanity.  I have cried many times as I remember that moment.

How easy it is to forget how real we all are.  Cut from the same cloth doesn't even do it justice.  We are all the same.  So I reached my hand in and her hands quickly formed a cup.

A most enchanting smile spread across her face when I filled her hands with the gleaming and luscious fruit.  Apricots of similar quality I have never found.  We shared a most joyous moment before she turned and dashed off, calling out to her friends, sisters, and what have you.

I've been thinking a lot about kindness since this trip.  I hope you enjoy some of the photos and my story.

I'm currently working on a project where "kindness" was the tactic selected (before my trip) based on the key insights.  And I'm also interested in deploying an ad-based model built around the concept of "kind".  Such interesting times.  But more on these things later.

It's impossible to wrap my trip up, but I will cherish the insights and be forever in debt to each of those who came.  I learned to love the unlovable, to see strength where before there was weakness and what it means to be true friends with another soul.

[Image Source: SeanHoward]

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