Live from FOOA vs. A lesson from Ecuador

Here's a cross-link to my post on BMA about the two keynotes today.  Some interesting stats, but so far it's been very traditional media audience focused.  ie:  A lot of time on the basics of online advertising and media and proving the case for online media as a larger part of your mix.

Teaser:

   
• $112 billion of the $295 billion spent on advertising is wasted
   
• 99% of people pretty much don't remember custom URLs (Amen!)

So click over already!  ;)

But what about Ecuador?

I sat through a number of presentations on monetization, a demo of a social media product that is designed so that the company owns the data consumers create and a man from PayPerPost basically spewing the most insane logic on the planet.  So I took a short walk and found myself with a bit of time on my hands, something in short supply of late.  A perfect chance to get a haircut.

My requirements were simple.  I didn't want to wait or have to setup an appointment.  I was informed this was possible at the first place I walked into.  I was handed a slip of paper and a black gown and sent back down an aisle of busy clipping stylists.

And this is how I met her.  I don't have her permission, so I will call her Corina.  She is from Ecuador.

Before I continue, I have to tell you that I've always hated getting my hair cut by someone I don't know.  The strange pauses.  The small talk.  And let's not forget the dreaded end result that is always nothing like what I asked for.  It's akin to dragging my fingernails across a gritty old chalk board.  And I avoid it like the apocalypse.

But I had commited to a haircut in a strange city, so I began with the awkward smile and quickly moved into what I was looking for.  She kept nodding and saying things like "of course you do" in a heavy spanish accent.  I quickly realized we were far from comprehension on a good portion of what I was saying.  And I laughed.  And as I relaxed back into the chair I threw it all away.  I remember thinking,"It's only hair... it will grow back... someday..."

Corina and I spoke of her children, her youth, her coming to America.  We spoke of my travels, what it's like to live in Canada.  There were many stumbling blocks as her English, while excellent, definitely slipped in places or was made imcomprehensible (to my ears) by her accent.

And let me tell you, Corina meant business. She wasn't playing around.  We weren't talking scissors here.  Nope, we were in full fledge razor mode and my hair was quite literally flying off my head.  And as she worked, we talked.  Not small talk.  But really talked.  I learned about her first son and how hard it was for him to grow up as a young child here.  How she had no resources and no safety net and barely spoke English.  So he grew up primarily indoors.  Very few friends.  No outlets save for school.

I learned about her guilt.  And I shared my own stories of family issues.  And in the end I spoke to her about how as children we don't always understand the sacrifices that our parents made.  We spoke of our hearts of hearts.  And she spoke to me of children.

In ecuador, everyone has many many children.  But not her sister.  She never got married.  She never had children.  And now she is lonely.  And Corina chided me for not having children and wanted to know why I did not have any, and what my plans were.

My hair was washed (at the end of the cut) as if I was a small child.  The water was sprayed into my ears and when she dried my hair her thumbs were shoved into my ears while her fingers scrubbed behind the flaps quite vigorously.  I was smiling as I felt touched and alive, as if I was a grandson and getting my hair cut in her apartment.

As I walked back into the conference it hit me like a wave.  We have a choice in every interaction.  To smile and nod, pretending to care - where we both know that the other person is there to monetize and make small-talk.  Or we can let go and actually connect with that human being "across from us".  And the tangible and intangible benefits of the latter are unbelievable. 

I know that if I'm ever in this city again with an unruly head of hair, I'm going to go looking for Corina. Or maybe I'll just drop in for a touch up and learn whether or not her son got that job.  And hopefully I will have figured out how to apply this to our communication efforts in the interim.

First Image Source:  Lukas Vermeer

[Second Image is of me at FOOA with my new head of hair]

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